Japanese Lessons
by Lillith-of-the-Rose
Summary: Let Usagi and Hirako try and teach you to speak japanese! Characters and authors from SMED


_**Japanese Lessons**_

_Instructed by Tsukino Usagi and Hoshino Hirako_

**Hirako: Ohayo minna-san! Welcome to Usagi's and Hirako's Japanese Lessons!**

**Usagi: Yep! Now, Hira-chan, where'd you put the cake?**

**Hirako: In my tummy!**

**Usagi:………………….WAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I'm hungry!!!**

**Hirako: Well I was hungrier than you! BURP**

**Kakyuu: Um………….1: Hirako, don't speak Japanese, they don't know it yet. 2: DON'T EAT ON THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, get back to business girls.**

**Hirako: pout**

**Usagi: pout**

**Hirako: You're not my princess!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: Hirako………GET A LIFE! I _could _always delete _you_ from the show. I'm sure Sailor Puu would be fine with that! glare **

**Usagi: GASP!**

**Hirako: Tremble**

**Sailor Puu: Um… sweat pours down face **

**Kakyuu: Well?????**

**Sailor Puu: I think Hirako should stay on. It _might _help her mature.**

**Kakyuu: NOOOO!!!! She's being to annoying!**

**Hirako: cackle cackle**

**Sailor Puu: Now, all of you, let's get back to work. This is _supposed _to be for them to learn Japanese, not how to quarrel. **

**Usagi and Hirako: Oh yeah…………..**

**Kakyuu: Hmph! It's all about them! I know more Japanese than them! sticks out tongue **

**Hirako and Usagi: Oh yeah we're native to Japan! You live in AMERICA!!!!!!**

**  
Kakyuu: Hirako, your all wrong _your _not native to Japan.**

**Hirako: You wouldn't!!!!!!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: Takes out a cell and dials a number Shiko?**

**Hirako: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!**

**Sailor Puu: STOP IT!!!!! WANT ME TO CALL THE WHOLE SHOW OFF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?**

**Kakyuu, Hirako, and Usagi: GASP! YOU WOULDN'T!!!!!!**

**Sailor Puu: I would. Laughs cruelly **

**Hirako: ……but…but…I haven't had my big chance to SHINE yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: sweat drop you don't need one. You'll fail it anyway.**

**Hirako: teary eyes **

** Shiko walks on stage. Sees Hirako and laughs **

**Sailor Puu: Yippee! Someone who can stop this and make them get on with it! eyes sparkle **

**Shiko: stops laughing suddenly Who ME?!?! **

**Sailor Puu: Yes you!!!!!!!**

**Shiko: Couldn't be!!!!!!**

**Hirako: Then who?**

**Kakyuu, Sailor Puu and Shiko: sweat drop baka……………………..**

**Hirako: But, Sailor Puu, you just said not to speak Japanese because they don't know it yet!**

**Usagi: Okay minna-san!!! First step, Baka means idiot or fool!!! Arigato! Bows **

**Kakyuu: BAKA! They don't know what arigato means yet!!!!!!!!**

**Hirako: Second step, Arigato is a strange word!!!!!!  
**

**Shiko: BAKA!!!! It means, 'thank you" in a very formal way. sticks nose up in the air. **

**Usagi: Third step, Shiko is being a snob!!!!!  
**

**Hirako: Fourth step, I agree!!!!!  
**

**Sailor Puu: BAKA! This is not about Shiko no baka!**

**Shiko: turns slowly _ what did you say?_**

**Kakyuu, Usagi and Hirako: Uh oh……….she's in trouble now……..**

**Sailor Puu: gulp! Um, I didn't…….**

**Shiko: throws her arms in the air EVERYTHING is about ME!!!!!!!! nears Sailor Puu with a murderer glare **

**Sailor Puu: Um, I don't feel like dying today……..**

**Shiko: Gets Closer **

**Kakyuu, Hirako and Usagi: Run for your life!!!!!!**

**Hirako and Usagi: Oh, sweet last precious life!!!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: Wait a minute………last life? What happened to the others?**

**Hirako and Usagi: Point to Shiko and run off stage Kakyuu following **

**Shiko: Ne!! Where are you going I was going to korosu you next!!!!!!!!**

** distant screams echo through the halls **

**Usagi: Voice can hardly be heard Lesson five, Ne: Hey!**

**Hirako: Voice far away Lesson six, Korosu: Kill!!!!! EEK!!!!!!!**

**Usagi and Hirako: Lesson seven, Shiko is a deadly killing machine!!!!!**

** Shiko and Sailor Puu hear the sound of feet running die down the hall **

**Sailor Puu: Backing up Well I guess that wraps up our show. Ja ne matta!**

**Hirako and Usagi: stick their heads out from behind the curtain and whisper lesson eight, Ja ne matta!!! See you later!! dash down the hall again **

**Shiko: head jerks up Hmm? Wait a second… looks around now where'd they go!?!? runs down hall **

** voices echo in the halls **

**Shiko: Boy are you right about seeing you later! And when I do, you two bakas are dead Senshi!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Usagi and Hirako: SHRIEK!!!!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: Hmmm……that was a rather short show. You know, Puu, I bet we could've gotten a lot more cash if you didn't call Shiko.**

**Sailor Puu: I didn't call her! _You _did! sighs Hai. You're right.**

**Hirako: hanging on one of the curtain ropes lesson nine, Hai means yes and no!!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: looks up oh? You're still among the living? Surprising………….demo………**

**Usagi: hanging on the other rope Shiko will never find us here! Lesson ten, Demobut.**

**Hirako: Kakyuu? Weren't you the one who said not to say Japanese words they didn't know?**

**Kakyuu:……………………………………..why I ought a…………. clenches fists ……….Ano, I'm special, and much smarter, and you guys are the servants around here so you can just explain………… embarrassed look on face **

**Usagi: Lesson eleven, Ano: um or uh….You're doing it again Kakyuu!!  
**

**Hirako: Feels a tug on her shirt and comes tumbling down. Looks up at Shiko and screams **

**Shiko: Hmm. You aren't a very good screamer. sighs well, I've heard worse. I can just add that to my list of things you're a klutz in…………….**

**Hirako: IEI!!!!!!!!!!!!! You wouldn't!!!!!!! You know deep down I'm not a klutz!!!!!!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: HA! Caught you in the act! Don't speak Japanese they don't know, baka! twirls around over and over again all over the stage humming baka, baka, baka……………………..**

**Hirako: Lesson twelve, iei: No. **

**Kakyuu: pause oh, and Hirako….what I was _trying _ to say earlier………Hai means YES, not yes and no! Weirdo.**

**Usagi: Lesson thirteen, Kakyuu is weirder than Hirako.**

**Hirako: That's for sure! I mean I'm not weird at all!!!!**

**Shiko, Sailor Puu, and Kakyuu: stare **

**Hirako: Nani?!?! I'm not!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Shiko: places hands on her friend's shoulders hate to break it to you Hira-chan. Demo, you are.**

**Hirako: Am not!!!!!!!!!**

**Usagi: sweat drop Ano, lesson fourteen, Nani: what……..**

**Kakyuu: Ne, Usagi……..**

**Usagi: Nani???**

**Kakyuu: Weren't you supposed to meet Mamoru half an hour ago???**

**Usagi: Oh no!!!!!!!! If I'm late Mamo-chan will call off the dates for a whole month!!!!!**

**Kakyuu: evil smile hee hee….. you already _are_ late. pause ……………………..**

**TO BAD, SO SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Shiko: Goshinpainaku, Usa. I'm sure he'll only call off the best ones……..hehe**

**Hirako: Guys!! Don't be mean!!!! Lesson fifteen: (naughty Shiko) Goshinpainaku means the obvious 'Don't Worry'.**

**Shiko: I'm bored. **

**Kakyuu: So?**

**Shiko: So you guys failed to pass the interesting test.**

**Usagi and Hirako: standing on either side of Sailor Puu blink twice We're not…interesting?**

**Sailor Puu: I think their pretty funny. places a hand on each of their shoulders **

**Shiko: shrugs they fail to amuse me. Send them off immediately to be executed. gestures her hand towards the door in a snobby way **

** a figure dressed in black comes in the room long brown hair waving behind her. **

**Jasumin: Where's the one's I'm to kill?**

**Usagi and Hirako: speaking 10 words per 3 seconds Iei! We can't die! Our show…….we need to make our exit lines……we can't die…….IEI!!!**

**Usagi: Hira-chan, let's make it quick!**

**Hirako: Hai!**

** meanwhile: Jasumin: Ano, can anyone tell what they're saying???**

**Shiko: Iei……….**

**Kakyuu: Maybe they're speaking Italian…….**

**Sailor Puu: hands on hips pondering probably so… **

**Usagi: Arigato for coming!!!!!!!!**

**Hirako: Onegai come again!!!!!**

**Usagi: Lesson sixteen, Onegai means please!!!**

**Hirako: Lesson sixteen, Onegai means please!!!**

**Usagi: sweat drop that's what I said………**

**Hirako: You did? Oh well! Ja ne!**

**Usagi: Ja ne!**

**Hirako: I wish we could stay in the spotlight longer, but we have to escape before death falls upon us!**

**Usagi: Hai! Goshinpainaku, we'll be back!**

** Kakyuu: I hope not… **

**Hirako: It's been great!**

** Shiko: They're stalling… **

**Usagi: Refreshments are over there!**

** Jasumin: Definitely… **

**Hirako: Wow! We have so much punch, I could live off it!**

**Usagi: Iei, we couldn't. That's not nearly enough!!!**

** Sailor Puu: We're going to be here for all eternity at this rate…….. **

**Hirako: You are soooooooooo right!**

** Shiko: Okay, there's only one-way to put an end to this……….**

** Shiko snaps her fingers. In a flash, everyone except herself is gone. **

**Shiko: Whoops! snaps again…….vanishes **


End file.
